In the small North Pacific island country of Bondovia, of which I am the Supreme Leader, proudly wearing the title of Doggi Lama, I have mandated that young persons, upon leaving High School in my country, should be proficient in the following:
1. Button-sewing and trouser-mending.
2. Automobile maintenace up to, and including, engine rebuilding.
3. Dog toenail cutting.
4. Vegetable gardening.
5. Welding, plumbing, carpentry and electrical work.
6. Baking.
7. Hunting and fishing.
8.The ability to play a musical instrument and read and write music.
9. Playing baseball.
10. The feeling of empathy.
11.Knowing when to wipe, and when to blot.
1. Button-sewing and trouser-mending.
2. Automobile maintenace up to, and including, engine rebuilding.
3. Dog toenail cutting.
4. Vegetable gardening.
5. Welding, plumbing, carpentry and electrical work.
6. Baking.
7. Hunting and fishing.
8.The ability to play a musical instrument and read and write music.
9. Playing baseball.
10. The feeling of empathy.
11.Knowing when to wipe, and when to blot.
12.Cutting up a chicken.
13.Writing haiku.
14. High-country backpacking.
15. Construcing a proper milkshake.
Having learned all these things, in addition to the Three R's, I feel the graduating students of Bondovia will be better qualified to enter the world of adulthood and contribute to society accordingly.
Thank you for listening.
You may now kiss my ring.
Having learned all these things, in addition to the Three R's, I feel the graduating students of Bondovia will be better qualified to enter the world of adulthood and contribute to society accordingly.
Thank you for listening.
You may now kiss my ring.
8 comments:
These are good rules. Would you rebuild. My jeep engine?
Where the hell on Bondovia's green earth is the baseball field?
omg!!! he...splat!!!
And you can do all of these things??
Mic: Under the sea.
Anon: And you can have a name??
All very useful skills!
All that and a quarter WILL get you a cup of coffee (or a job at Starbucks) !
Quite the well-rounded education.
don't forget the age-old art of
stick shining ; )
Great rules and the fact you named your country after ME is incredible!
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