The perks of being a San Francisco 49er phfan:



When you order a large pizza, anywhere, it is automatically upgraded to Family Size, free.


School children salute you.


Your lawn cuts itself.


Ringo comes to your birthday party.


Lobsters line up to be picked by YOU.


When you are pulled over for speeding, the police man asks if you could give HIM a ticket.


Elton John writes songs about you and candles.


Glenn Beck hates you, which is a good thing.


Your car never runs out of gas.


Waiters give you a 20% gratuity when you leave the restaurant.


Airplanes cloud-write "Winner!" where ever you are.


Your significant other does that "special thing" a lot more often.


Your shoelaces never come untied.




(...and your feet never touch the ground...)