Wednesday

Why Ringo Is The Perfect Houseguest:

He never leaves the lid up.

Ringo is not afeared of washing the dishes.

He brings unseen-before pics of the Fab Four with him.

Farting and burping, he does in private.

He never requests bangers and mash, even though I know it's his favorite.

I can now make the bangers.

He and Al Gore connect on many various levels.

It's as close as I'll get to John Lennon.

His son Zack always brings tri-tip.

His drum kit fits perfectly in the living room.

He doesn't use an inordinate amount of toilet paper.

The ball, he throws for Bobo.

He always beats Glenn Beck at wrestling, despite his age.

He will sing 'Photograph' if you ask him to.



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5 comments:

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

But if he said, "Fuck you!" Would he get a pass?

Bruno said...

What if Ringo picked his nose and wiped it on your lil dog? Would he still be in the neat guy club or would you make him sit in the car with Ted.

Dice Mardell said...

He never states the obvious.

He answers a direct question with a short, succinct answer; oftentimes simply yes or no. He never elaborates.

He's shy, modest and retiring.

Many people from far and near will come to your house just to see him. And they'll inquire about your sausage making skills and ask to try some.

Unknown said...

If Ringo DID do that, which is highly unlikely, given his wonderfulness, then yes, he would have to take a Time Out with Ted in the car, but Ted would have to sit in the back (so Ringo could work the radio).

Bruno said...

How exactly would Ringo feel about that! Ted behind him sharpening his broadheads! Not a happy place for Ringo.