Randallosity:

If my name was Randy

I would summon my wife

And ask her to bring me

My good butcher knife.

And then I would threaten

To cut out my eyes

And fill the whole house

With my hideous cries.

And then I would stumble

To the iron frying pan

And lay my face on it

To become Burning Man.

If my name was Randy

Well, I just have to say

That I'd rather be slaughtered

By a hot gamma ray.

- Itchy Bondo