You are quite mistaken about the annual friendship paynent. As I recall, concerning said payment, I have a credit for life. This is due to the incident of 2004 where you got your head stuck in a bucket, stepped in a hole and twisted your ankle and fell down and then that stupid blue billy goat got on top of you and started dry humping you. As hard as it was to stop laughing and taking pictures I eventually did disengage the goat. Now in all fairness Bondo, did you not say that you owed me your life and that I was "paid up for life", on the annual friendship payment. However, dear Bondo, upon reviewing your account I see that you are in arrears on your payment. Please make good on your past payments (2 years) withen the next 60 days or I will be forced to put the above mentioned pictures on the internets. Sincerley, Mr. Bruno III
You, sir, seem to forget the Incident of 2007 when you ate that little orange pepper at the Visalia County Fair and you started hopping all over the place and stealing people's drinks and thrashing in the creek. Then I saved your ass by konking you out until the papamedics came. It was then that you volunteered to DOUBLE your Friendship Payments for life.
Dear Sir, The above story is a fignewtown of your imagination or outright boulderdash on your part in order to get out of paying your debt. Everyone knows that I have been eating said pepers since I was a wee lad and in fact am so familiar with them that I use the juice as shampoo, wich is why I have a full head of hair and a normal sized forehead. Shame on you sir, shame. I expect payment by the end of the month or I will catch up said blue goat and drive to Bondovia and turn him free to finish what he started.
Mr. Bruno III
P.S. Payment in hotdogs will be returned to sender.
Insofar as your hair is concerned, I will admit that it is magnificent. Your forehead, sir, is quite another matter. Perhaps you will recall the Incident of 1982 when it was your forehead, sir, that caused the small children at the Catholic school playground to shriek and cover their eyes when you encountered them during your rounds as School Custodian. I recall that the School Board had previously warned you about brandishing your forehead, but you evidently ignored them.
Such is the fate of the children.
Cash or Money Order, sir. Personal cheques will not be accepted.
I relize that you come from the clan of the foot long forehead and the males of this clan relish in their unhallowed foreheadedness. However sir, this is not the point, nor do I feel that it is necessary to bring up my past working at the Catholic school, after all, I made no mention of your working at the petting zoo and your being let go so suddenly from that position.
The fact is sir that I saved you from a fate worse then death, much worse then death, and indeed it is you who owes me. And quite frankly sir, your getting off cheap.
Please sir, certified bank or post office checks only.
If I do not recieve fifty bucks in the mail TOMORROW then I will be forced to personally travel to your place of residence, forcibly grab your forehead, direct you and your forehead to your shop building and apply your forehead to your bench grinder and carve in the word "SLACKER".
You will not enjoy this activity.
It would be infinitely more pleasurable for you to simply capitulate and give me two twenties and a ten.
P.S. We agreed never to mention the petting zoo again.
Mr Bondo, your propensity toward violence in order to absolve your financial obligation is appaling sir. And I herein say to you, COME AND GET IT BABY. I have a fully fenced estate that is now being patroled by the aforementioned blue goat and his goat prodigy. I offered to pay said Mr. goat (I call him blue beard) in refuse and table scrapes but when he learned YOU were involved he volentered his self and his blue goat clan. You are forewarned sir, I am ready and able to release the hoards of the blue goat clan upon you.
10 comments:
Bwhahahahaha!
Love it!
Re; Fiddy bucks.
Dear Phfrankie,
You are quite mistaken about the annual friendship paynent. As I recall, concerning said payment, I have a credit for life. This is due to the incident of 2004 where you got your head stuck in a bucket, stepped in a hole and twisted your ankle and fell down and then that stupid blue billy goat got on top of you and started dry humping you. As hard as it was to stop laughing and taking pictures I eventually did disengage the goat. Now in all fairness Bondo, did you not say that you owed me your life and that I was "paid up for life", on the annual friendship payment.
However, dear Bondo, upon reviewing your account I see that you are in arrears on your payment. Please make good on your past payments (2 years) withen the next 60 days or I will be forced to put the above mentioned pictures on the internets.
Sincerley, Mr. Bruno III
Mr. Bruno III:
You, sir, seem to forget the Incident of 2007 when you ate that little orange pepper at the Visalia County Fair and you started hopping all over the place and stealing people's drinks and thrashing in the creek. Then I saved your ass by konking you out until the papamedics came. It was then that you volunteered to DOUBLE your Friendship Payments for life.
How soon we forget.
I will be checking my mailbox daily.
P.Bondo
Bwhahahahaha!
Love it too!
Dear Sir,
The above story is a fignewtown of your imagination or outright boulderdash on your part in order to get out of paying your debt. Everyone knows that I have been eating said pepers since I was a wee lad and in fact am so familiar with them that I use the juice as shampoo, wich is why I have a full head of hair and a normal sized forehead. Shame on you sir, shame. I expect payment by the end of the month or I will catch up said blue goat and drive to Bondovia and turn him free to finish what he started.
Mr. Bruno III
P.S. Payment in hotdogs will be returned to sender.
Mr. Bruno III:
Insofar as your hair is concerned, I will admit that it is magnificent. Your forehead, sir, is quite another matter. Perhaps you will recall the Incident of 1982 when it was your forehead, sir, that caused the small children at the Catholic school playground to shriek and cover their eyes when you encountered them during your rounds as School Custodian. I recall that the School Board had previously warned you about brandishing your forehead, but you evidently ignored them.
Such is the fate of the children.
Cash or Money Order, sir. Personal cheques will not be accepted.
Hurry.
P.Bondo
MR. BONDO,
I relize that you come from the clan of the foot long forehead and the males of this clan relish in their unhallowed foreheadedness. However sir, this is not the point, nor do I feel that it is necessary to bring up my past working at the Catholic school, after all, I made no mention of your working at the petting zoo and your being let go so suddenly from that position.
The fact is sir that I saved you from a fate worse then death, much worse then death, and indeed it is you who owes me. And quite frankly sir, your getting off cheap.
Please sir, certified bank or post office checks only.
Mr. Bruno III:
If I do not recieve fifty bucks in the mail TOMORROW then I will be forced to personally travel to your place of residence, forcibly grab your forehead, direct you and your forehead to your shop building and apply your forehead to your bench grinder and carve in the word "SLACKER".
You will not enjoy this activity.
It would be infinitely more pleasurable for you to simply capitulate and give me two twenties and a ten.
P.S. We agreed never to mention the petting zoo again.
Holy Mary Mother of God!!!
Mr Bondo, your propensity toward violence in order to absolve your financial obligation is appaling sir. And I herein say to you, COME AND GET IT BABY. I have a fully fenced estate that is now being patroled by the aforementioned blue goat and his goat prodigy. I offered to pay said Mr. goat (I call him blue beard) in refuse and table scrapes but when he learned YOU were involved he volentered his self and his blue goat clan. You are forewarned sir, I am ready and able to release the hoards of the blue goat clan upon you.
Goat bunga bunga will not be pleasurable sir.
Pay up Welsher or else
I have nothing to add.
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