~ Jedediah Bondo ~

Here we see the founder of the
Bondo School of Culinary Arts,
 Jedediah Bondo.

Jedediah was born near Lucca, Italy in 1872, the son of a salami sculpter. Although his family wished for him to continue in the their exclusive craft of sausage carving , young Jedediah chose instead the ancient art of gopher spinning.

As the other young men of his village advanced in the various crafts of the region, such as masonry, carpentry, stick shining, ravioli-making, etc., Jed could be found at any given time on the outskirts of town hunting and skinning and gutting gophers.

Then, as has been done since time immemorial, he would lash the gopher to a green branch and set the branch just above a fire, nestled in two Y-shaped branches set vertically in the ground, and commence to spinning the gopher by hand, until golden brown.

When Jedediah came to America just before the turn of the century and settled in San Francisco, he continued his craft, flourishing in the burgeoning City. It was not long until he built his first spinner out of iron, using a circular cage encapsuling two squirrels and a spocket with a chain to power the spinning apparatus. He was heralded as a genius by the locals. By this time he had graduated to spinning rabbits and chickens and the occasional Siamese cat, for the Orientals.

In 1902, bowing to the pressure from numerous people to teach them the art of spinning, he founded the Bondo School of Culinary Arts, which to this day is a highly successful enterprise now located in the Sacramento Delta region, near Courtland.

Recent graduates from The School include George Clooney, Randy Woofinghausen III, Sal Mineo's long lost cousin Bert, and one wReggie Hunnicutt, of North Carolina.

Sadly, Jedediah died in 1921 in a boating accident on Lake Tahoe. (He was attempting to spin a salmon while navigating his Chris-Craft in a regatta.) He is burried in Palo Alto, California, where, we can assume, he is spinning in his grave.

Remember Jedediah's motto:

"Iffin' yer spinnin', yer winnin'!"


Ken said...

I went, I went! But failed the spinning course.

I did get half a degree in spinner maintenance though.

wReggie said...

A remarkable man indeed.

Lu' said...

Loved it :)

Bruno said...

I met Jedediah's grandson, Jedediah the XVI in golden gate park. The year was 1971 and my friends and I were at a free Dead show at hippy hill. Having smoked allot of the MaryJane we were having a serious case of the munchies so we followed our noses in search of a delicous smell that was wafting through the grounds.

It was here that we came upon young Jedediah, off in the shrubs, wearing a loin cloth and a necklace of squirrel fingers, spinning park squirrels, the old way, on a stick.

He had a small non-profit, by donation only, concession set up, which he called squirrels for the Haight free clinic.

We dug in our pockets and pulled out a few small bills, couple of joints and an assortment of beads, bones and bells to further the cause. It was the most succulent and tender squirrel I have ever had.

When we parted, I remember him saying, "peace bro" and handing us each a generously dosed suger cube.

It was an encounter that I will remember my whole life, and often reflect upon. We waded through a desert of long hair, flowers, and naked hippies to come upon our own Moses.

That was a day I'll never forget.

Lu' said...

Real enjoyable tale Bruno :)

Gal'Lisna said...

You BOTH have entirely too much (munch?) time on your hands

Ken said...

OK! I get it! Somebody has to say it......

What is it, month to month now?
You think we didn't read it day to day?

It's been lonely this whole fricken month!